The Lost Girl
by TVH Bookfan
Summary: On New Year's Eve of 1938, the parents of the Lowell siblings are murdered, leaving them to cope in ways that lead to trouble. Jerry starts selling and using drugs, Clara stays out with boys late into the night, while Alice starts slipping into her own dream world called Wonderland, which might turn to be more than just another childish fantasy.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: New Year's Eve, London 1938

For Alice Lowell, the most magical time of the year was not Christmas. Coming from a family that struggled to have all the bills paid by the end of the month at a time when jobs were limited often meant that you didn't always find a bunch of beautifully wrapped presents under the tree. For her, all the magic happened on New Year's Eve. Every year, no matter how tight money was, the Lowells always held a party for various family members, friends, and coworkers. Alice was allowed to stay up late and dance to all that jazz and swing music with either her brother Jerry, her sister Clara, or one of the older cousins, as well as eat from five different kinds of pastries and candies without having her mother scold her. But the best part of the evening was the lighting of the candles when midnight approached. At the time, everyone made one wish, which was supposed to be your greatest desire for the New Year. The point of this, her father often told her, was to maintain a sense of hope despite any hardships they would have to face, as well as to be grateful for the things they did have. "Times may be hard now, Alice, but some people have it a lot worse. Just think of all those poor people in Germany and Russia. Those of us who live in England are very lucky indeed," he would tell her whenever she started getting upset.

At the age of nine, Alice didn't fully understand what was going on in the world, but she had some idea of what her father was talking about. She'd listened to it on the radio, read about it in her father's newspapers, and seen newsreels at the movies. Her teacher talked about, Jerry and Clara often whispered to each other when listening to the radio broadcasts, and even her friends talked about how bad it must be to live under those dictatorships. But as far as she knew, these problems could never reach her own happy if sometimes difficult life.

Then, on New Year's Eve, it all happened. Alice had taken three slices of sponge cake from the decorated dining room table and was looking for Jerry, who had promised to actually teach her how to dance this year. Instead, she found Clara looking worriedly around the house.

"Clara? Where's Jerry?" Alice asked.

"He's with father. They started talking to this wealthy guest who was asking some rather strange questions. But now, I can't find them anywhere…"

"Clara! Alice!" It was Jerry, who was running in panic around the hallway. "We have to get out of the house right now!"

"Why? Is something wrong?" Alice asked, looking anxiously from her seventeen-year-old brother to her fifteen-year-old sister.

"A man has a gun, and he's threatening to kill father!"

Clara turned pale, but quickly gripped Alice's arm, and the two girls started running outside without even considering stopping to get coats. Jerry stayed, warning any guest who would listen. In five minutes, more than half of the party was outside, but everyone was clearly able to hear many gun shots. Several children started screaming and clinging close to their mothers, who looked as scared as they were. A couple of men tried to get into the house, threatening to kill the madman themselves, but Jerry blocked the door, telling them that they needed to stay outside. Clara had her arms wrapped around Alice, who was shaking violently out of both the cold and her fear.

In about a minute, the police and an ambulance arrived. Jerry stepped out of the way, letting them investigate. About seven people were let out alive but with terrible injuries, but a lot of time was spend going over the dead, with those unharmed being lead to identify relatives and friends. Within a few minutes, a policeman who knew the family well approached Jerry.

"Jerry, your parents were found dead. Your father of three gunshot wounds in the back, and your mother of one in the neck. The killer escaped, supposedly through the broken window. I'm so sorry."

At that moment, Alice burst into tears and put her arms around both Jerry and Clara. The three of them held each other for a long time, knowing that they were now all alone in the world.

**This is my first Alice in Wonderland story. I hope to continue, but I must hear what you all thought of it first. Sent reviews with any thoughts, questions, or suggestions for improvement. I would really appreciate it :) **


	2. Chapter 2

Part One: The White Rabbit

A month after the incident, life had completely changed for the Lowell siblings. It had been discovered that the person who killed their parents had been their father's former business partner, George Black. Ten years ago, they had both been successful and had a very close relationship, but after the depression, this had all changed. The store they owned went out of business in 1931, which not only made both men poor, but also lead to feelings of distrust between them. Within a year, they avoided each other completely. While Mr. Lowell did his best to maintain steady employment and remained a loyal husband and loving father, George Black lost every job he managed to get and had constant affairs with other women, resulting in a bitter divorce, losing custody of his four children, and then the loss of his home. As far as he was concerned, Jordon Lowell was responsible for everything that had gone wrong with his life. The day after the murders, he had been found hanging to the ceiling of a friend's flat. A suicide note was found on the floor, explaining in detail why he had killed Jordon and Emily Lowell.

As for their children, the authorities had not been able to find a person to be their legal guardian. Jerry argued that since he was close to being of age, he should be allowed to take part in supporting his sisters, but this was not permitted, and they had to make it clear that if no one was found by March, Alice in particular would have to be sent to a home for children who were wards of the state. Jerry reluctantly informed Clara about this situation, which had deeply upset her. They agreed not to say a word to Alice. Hopefully someone would step up and agree to care for them within a month, so this would be unnecessary.

Those first nights were when the reality of their situation really hit them. Jerry spent as much as two nights without any sleep at all, just thinking of all the ways in which he could have saved his parents. Clara would play records of classical music in her room in an attempt to drown out those dreadful thoughts of the gunshots and how people were screaming and crying as they were outside their house. At times, she even thought she heard voices, but it would be over very quickly, whereas those thoughts would haunt her from the moment she entered her room to the second she woke up in tears at dawn. The only thing that gave her some comfort was sitting next to Alice's bed (the two girls shared a room) and either reading or singing to her until she fell asleep.

Unknown to Clara though was how hard Alice actually took their parent's death. She rarely said a word at school anymore and when she was with her friends, she would just sit around at a corner and watch them as they went on with their activities. It had become clear to her that she would never be like her peers again. Like her, many of them had experienced their own fair share of hardship within their families, but none of them had to go a tragedy. The only one of Alice's friends who was an orphan was Priscilla Jones, who had lost her parents when she was only a year old. She tried to help Alice more than anyone else within their peer group, but was never fully able to understand her feelings. When Alice did speak to her, she'd say, "I don't want to talk about that right now, Priscilla," or, "None of this feels real. I keep wishing this was all a dream and I could wake up at any moment."

"Alice? Are you still awake?"

Alice looked up to see Clara still sitting by her side with a copy of _Heidi _in her lap. It was midnight, and she could still hear Mozart coming from their record player. She didn't remember having fallen asleep anytime earlier, but from the way her sister was slightly shaking her shoulder, she could tell that she must have nodded off sometime. "I am now. Why were you asking?"

"Because I heard you moaning a while ago."

Then, Alice heard a ticking noise. It should have been coming from clock, but when she looked up, all she could see was a white rabbit, looking at her as if it was just as astonished to be seeing her as she was about its' sudden appearance out of nowhere. Mozart was still being played, but for some reason, she could not see Clara. As a matter of fact, when she looked closely, she noticed that she was in an open field, with almost nothing but the white rabbit and flowers in sight.

"Alice? Are you okay? You're moaning again."

She was back in her room again, seeing at first only Clara's brown hair, but then she turned her anxious face towards her younger sister. "What's the matter, Alice? Are you feeling sick?"

"I'm late!" she heard someone call out.

"Did you hear something right now?" she asked in a small, scared voice.

When she said this, Clara got even more worried. Alice was only nine years old. She was too young to be going through a mental illness. "No. Maybe you're just hearing things because you're tired. Try getting some sleep." That was it, she thought. This episode was just the result of Alice's lack of sleep. It would be all right. She started stroking her sister's long blonde hair and read a bit from _Heidi._ For a moment, Alice smiled, happy to hear the story of the Swiss girl from the Alps, but then came that disturbing call again: "I'm late! I'm late!" being the last thing she heard before falling asleep at her sister's side.


	3. Chapter 3

She was in the field again, only this time, she noticed there was a cat by her side. It had slightly gray fur and had been chasing flying insects before noticing Alice, at which point it started meowing softly. It just seemed like any ordinary cat's sounds at first, but when Alice listened more closely, she noticed that it seemed as if the cat kept saying "Ra, ra" over and over again. The more it said it, the more anxious its' facial expression got. After a while came the most shocking thing of all: the cat said, almost as clearly as any human, "Rabbit's on the run!"

As shocked as Alice was, she managed to ask calmly, "Excuse me, but I don't know what you mean by that. What rabbit are you talking about?"'

"The white rabbit. He's once again late, which means another forty eight hours of disorder for Wonderland."

"Does that mean the disorder lasts for two days? Why is that?"

"A day in Wonderland lasts forty eight days: twenty four of light and another twenty four of almost complete darkness. Since the white rabbit is the queen's time keeper, how the days go depend on whether or not he gets back in time from the errands assigned to him by the queen."

"That doesn't make sense. It almost seems illogical."

"In Wonderland, logic often doesn't exist. Two plus two can suddenly make five, animals can walk with two legs or even one if things get very odd, human babies can start behaving like adults at six months, doing everything from writing letters and repairing houses to gambling and getting drunk. Yes, my dear, I know what you're thinking: it's not a pretty sight at all. And I'd be declared a renegade if the queen found out that I told you all this, but since we're not in Wonderland and the White Rabbit is far from sight, I have that freedom of speech that those in your land are so proud of."

"Are you talking about my whole world or England? In some parts of my world, like in England and Russia, people aren't allowed to say whatever they want. The people there call themselves Nazis, Communists, and Fascists. But in England, where I live, it's a democracy, so freedom of speech does exist there," Alice said with the tone of an obedient schoolgirl.

"I know what you're talking about. Certain factions in Wonderland have been researching the political ideologies of your world in secret, but I can't afford to get involved in them. I'm just an ordinary oppressed citizen…"

"Who are you?" someone shouted. They both looked up to see the White Rabbit looking at them with a stern expression. "You are not from Wonderland. Are you attempting to intrude?"

The cat looked at the rabbit and said in a panic, "Forgive the girl. She is innocent. She's never set foot in Wonderland and never intends to!"

"Lies! I saw this girl a while ago, looking as if she actually wanted to set foot on our land. Listen to me, child: if the queen were ever to find you, it'd be off with your head for you! No foreigner that's ever entered Wonderland has made it out without losing their sanity. If you want to avoid being the next victum of the queen's wrath, I strongly suggest you get out of here... Oh no! I'm late! You two are going to pay for this!"

The cat turned anxiously to Alice and said, "Alice, run!"

"How do you know my name?" Alice asked despite her panic.

"It doesn't matter! Just go! You're not safe in here."

"But I don't know how I..."

All of a sudden, Alice was back in her room. Clara was in bed fast asleep, the book placed beside the record player, and the sky was dark, without a single star in sight. It must have all been a dream, Alice thought, but unlike with most of her dreams, she could remember every detail of this one, from that anxious talking cat to the strange yet fierce White Rabbit. Not once had she thought she was dreaming, but wasn't that the way with most dreams? She tried to go back to sleep, but the voices of the cat and rabbit kept echoing in her mind, unwilling to go away. Alice didn't give one thought to the possiblity of madness, but she knew something wasn't quite right about that strange dream. Something that a young girl like her found it difficult to comprehend.


End file.
